Silencing Your Inner Critic
The voice in your head that says you're not good enough is lying. Here's how to fight back.
What Is the Inner Critic?
The inner critic is that harsh internal voice that judges, shames, and belittles you. It says things you would never say to another human being.
It often sounds like the voice of a critical parent, teacher, bully, or ex-partner — because that's usually where it originated.
The inner critic developed to protect you: if you could identify your flaws before others did, you could fix them and avoid rejection. But it's long outlived its usefulness.
What the Inner Critic Says
'You're not good enough.' 'Everyone is better than you.'
'You don't deserve happiness.' 'You'll always fail.'
'Who do you think you are?' 'People are just being nice.'
'You're too much.' 'You're not enough.'
'If people really knew you, they'd leave.'
Sound familiar? You're not alone. Nearly everyone has an inner critic — the volume just varies.
Try This Now
Name it: Give your inner critic a name (Dave, Karen, The Gremlin). When it speaks, say: 'Oh, there's Dave again.' This creates distance between you and the voice.
Compassionate counter: When the inner critic says something harsh, respond with what you'd say to a friend: 'That's not true. I'm doing my best in a difficult situation.'
Evidence challenge: When the inner critic makes a claim ('You're useless'), ask: 'What's the evidence for this? What's the evidence against it?' The evidence against is always stronger.
When to Seek Professional Help
If your inner critic is constant and you can't quieten it.
If it's contributing to depression, anxiety, or self-harm.
If you genuinely believe the things your inner critic tells you.
Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) and schema therapy are specifically designed to address the inner critic.