DBT Skills: Managing Intense Emotions
Learn Dialectical Behaviour Therapy skills for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness.
What Is DBT?
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) was developed by Dr Marsha Linehan to help people who experience intense, overwhelming emotions.
It combines cognitive-behavioural techniques with mindfulness practices. The word 'dialectical' means holding two opposite things as true — for example, accepting yourself as you are AND wanting to change.
DBT teaches four core skill sets: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
Originally developed for borderline personality disorder, DBT is now used for anxiety, depression, PTSD, eating disorders, and more.
Distress Tolerance Skills
TIPP: Temperature (cold water on face), Intense exercise (even 5 minutes), Paced breathing (slow exhale), Progressive muscle relaxation. Use when emotions are at crisis level.
STOP skill: Stop what you're doing. Take a step back. Observe what's happening inside and around you. Proceed mindfully with a plan.
Distraction with ACCEPTS: Activities, Contributing (helping others), Comparisons (to harder times you survived), Emotions (create an opposite emotion), Pushing away (mentally shelve the problem temporarily), Thoughts (occupy your mind), Sensations (hold ice, snap a rubber band).
Self-soothing with 5 senses: Find one comforting thing for each sense — a soft blanket (touch), calming music (hearing), scented candle (smell), warm drink (taste), beautiful scenery (sight).
Radical acceptance: Sometimes pain is unavoidable. Fighting reality causes suffering. Accepting reality as it is (not approving of it) reduces emotional pain.
Emotion Regulation Skills
Check the facts: Is your emotional response justified by the facts, or is it based on assumptions? Strong emotions aren't always accurate guides.
Opposite action: When your emotion urges you to do something unhelpful (hide when anxious, isolate when depressed), do the opposite action.
ABC PLEASE: Accumulate positive experiences. Build mastery (do things that make you feel competent). Cope ahead (plan for difficult situations). Treat PhysicaL illness, balanced Eating, avoid mood-Altering drugs, balanced Sleep, Exercise.
Name the emotion: Simply labelling what you're feeling ('I notice I'm feeling angry') reduces its intensity. Emotions named are emotions tamed.
Ride the wave: Emotions, even intense ones, naturally rise and fall. You don't have to act on every emotion — sometimes just waiting is enough.
Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
DEAR MAN (getting what you need): Describe the situation. Express how you feel. Assert what you want. Reinforce by explaining the benefit. Mindful — stay focused. Appear confident. Negotiate — be willing to give and take.
GIVE (keeping relationships): Gentle approach. Interested — listen. Validate the other person's feelings. Easy manner — use humour, be light.
FAST (keeping self-respect): Fair to yourself and others. No Apologies for having needs. Stick to your values. Truthful — don't exaggerate or lie.